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making your marriage work
saving the broken pieces It seems to me that long lasting marriages is becoming a thing of the past. The family is not as important as it once was. How then do we expect to have a strong growing nation? This is the question that most people in my country ask. When its the family that builds the community and the community in turn builds the nation. The family is the very foundation of any country. There are many reasons why marriages fail. But first we must acknowledge the fact that God is the glue and the foundation that makes any marriage last - successfully! Firstly most people rush into marriages without taking into cosideration all thats involve in making it work. They get hyped up on 'falling in love', on all the romance novels, movies and 'slow jam' music impressing upon their subconscious minds he wrong concept of what marriage is. They forget to look at at things logically. Weigh the facts, get to know whom they are marrying, their background, their family. Thats just one part of it. What about those who hurry to get married so they wont have to deal with the guilt of sexual immorality. Of course, they did not think that marriage is all about sex did they? Marriage is a sacred union between two people. But more so it is a a symbol of the Holy union between God and the church. One that should not be taken lightly. Firstly, one must be committed to making a marriage work from the beginning. Which brings me to one reason why marriages dont work out - Lack of committment. If one is to succeed at anything there must be dedication and purposeful devotion. Without these virtues unfaithfulness and infidelity lurks right around the corner. Most marrieds who betray their spouse with another, are themselves lacking a sense of security. They have never felt secure in their mother's/father's love. Therefore, sad to say they never will in the arms of any one of the opposite sex. Just like in any relationship, in order to make it work there must be communication. This can be verbal and non-verbal. But the way most married couples live. Both are usually more occupied with work and pursuing their own goals so much that even non-verbal communication does not exist. Everyone is always too tired. Too tired for family worship. Too tired to spend quality making the relationship work. Too tired to make love. Another reason for failure in a marriage. Too little intimacy. Without the oil in a car how would you get it going? Marriage is the same. The connection is broken when the couple does not connect. Especially on such a high level as sexual intercourse. Its that simple. And speaking of connect. Something I learned from my grandparents. Never, as in NEVER - say mean and hurtful words to your spouse that you can never take back. All it does is kill the affections of that person for the other. When that happens, the marriage at times seems its almost beyond repair. At times all the apologies in the world can do no good. For example, if you punch a hole in a cardboard, you can fix it back by taping the broken parts. But, can you get it back exactly as it was before as if it was never broken? No. The evidence of the broken part will always be there for all to see. Now imagine punching a hundred more holes. How messed up and broken that will look. Its the same in a marriage when we constantly say and do hurtful things to the other prson, that we know we could never take back. And even though we try to buy off the other person's apology. Alll the money and tears in the world cannot mend back the broken parts just exactly as it was before. The evidence of the damage will always be seen. It is when this happens that many couples get heartbroken discouraged and feel hopless and give up. Imagine the shame of being a woman scorned. Now, she may blame herself, saying 'maybe I should have lost some weight, or dressed prettier, or give him more love and attention'. But that will not erase the damage done. Prayer is the key to unlock heaven's store house. Most marriages fail because prayer is not made the the answer to every problem. Only God can heal, mend and save the pieces. |
http://www.divorcesupport.com/divorce/Saving-Your-Marriage-370.html
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broken marriages
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This intel was contributed by SAHM30
SAHM30
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May, 2012
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